Blackout on the Trains

As the tram slowly chugged along Swanston St from Melbourne Uni this afternoon at 4:30pm I had a difficult decision to make. Would I stay on this tram and ride it home or take the train from Melbourne Central? The tram is easier, I'm already sitting on it, and I can read the paper, but it will take at least 40 minutes to travel home, however I won't have to walk once I get there. The train on the other hand will be faster, about 15 mins, but I will have to stand and then walk when I get home, adding another 15 mins. I tell myself I need the exercise so I jump off the tram and head down to the pit that is Melbourne Central Station.

As I step off the escalator deep inside the underworld of the neglected Melbourne Central Station I see the train sitting there and I think, "Yes! Good decision." However as I walk closer to the train I realise the people inside look pissed and there are no lights on in nearly any of the carriages. Its just darkness and many crammed-in uncomfortable people. I decide that this train is here, who knows when the next one will be, so I squeeze my way in. But things don't improve. The lights stay off and we head through the loop in pitch black darknesses. Only seeing each other's faces in a flicker of light from inside the tunnel, in a "Willy Wonka - side of face flashing" kind of way. You know, a "There's no earthly way of knowing / Which direction we are going / There's no knowing where we're rowing / Or which way the river's flowing / Is it raining? / Is it snowing? / Is a hurricane a-blowing? / Not a speck of light is showing / So the danger must be growing / Are the fires of hell a-glowing? / Is the grisly reaper mowing? / Yes, the danger must be growing / 'Cause the rowers keep on rowing / And they're certainly not showing / Any signs that they are slowing" kinda way.

WARNING: Its boring and loud ( I think people talk louder when its dark because it makes them feel safer).

Then the train stops at Parliament. It is already packed. But there are obviously more people waiting here, compounded because this train is late. So people cram in. Then the train just sits there. Lights off. Doors open. After about five minutes the driver announces the train is going to be delayed for another five minutes. So we wait. This guy that was standing near me was obsessed with getting a good grip on the nearby pole. He kept trying to reach around this guy who was leaning against it. He's move his hand to the left of the guy's head, but his arm didn't bend that way. Then he'd try the right. Then he tried reaching around the guy's waist. Nothing was working for him. When he finally did get around he placed his hand exactly on mine. Why don't the trains have handles of bars for people to hold when they are standing in no-man's land? Of all the trains I have been in Europe and the States, Melbourne's are the worst for giving people a place to hold on to when standing. And these trains need it the most because they all have faulty breaks.


The train stopped a few more times and went express and I managed to get home about 15 minutes later than the tram would have taken me. That is, as long as the tram didn't break down.